Opening Up Old Wounds

I tend to forget about my heart related experiences and get on with my life but then something happens which taps me on the shoulder and says, ” hey you, remember you have a cardiac condition and ICD (implantable cardioverter-defibrillator) in place”.

My  ICD battery replacement two weeks ago was the recent tap. Yet another medical procedure, another recovery, how many times do I have to go through this? Another reminder of my sudden cardiac arrest (SCA), of life in a hospital bed etc. Arrrgh…

And also, how lucky I am to still be alive. How lucky I am to have an ICD (mine is called Paul so this is Paul No.3) to keep me safe! How blessed and grateful I am! Ahhhh…

The contradictions that exist within me! “I’m completely over all this,” yet I also know that I can move through it gently and allow it to find renewed wisdom, resilience and courage.

Previous heart and shock experiences come flooding back and I look back and marvel about how far I’ve come, wonder how on earth I survived it all and acknowledge that it has brought me to where I am now. A reflection on the 14 years post SCA and all the richness of life I have experienced during this time.

In relation to the specifics of the procedure, I discover that I tend to believe that the past will repeat. Well, there is some logic to drawing on previous experiences. With my previous ICD replacement, I was conscious throughout and in severe pain. The following day, more pain and a flood of tears. I had wondered if my pain threshold was low as many others seemed to breeze through this. The second time replacement was so different: asleep for the procedure (1hr) and felt good upon waking. After eating, I had nausea and vomited a few times. Following days unsettled digestive system. I think from all the antibiotics. Very little pain, swelling and bruising from the wound. So, my experiences were totally different (note: different doctor, anesthetist and hospital).

So, what are my lessons:

Allow yourself to feel contradicting and seemingly opposing emotions about your condition or procedure such as frustration and joy at the same time. Don’t let one negate the other, they are both valid and are a vital part of your healing.

Allow yourself to recover and heal in your own time and get inspiration to move forward by looking back on your journey acknowledge how much you have grown.

Whilst drawing on past experiences keep an open mind about each new procedure because it won’t necessarily be the same as before.

*thanks to a fellow SCA survivor for the very apt title of this blog.

Keep riding the wave of life.

Love always

Tracy

tracy@waveformconsulting.com

https://waveform-consulting.square.site

If you are a survivor or a family member, I invite you to join our Sudden Cardiac Arrest Community on facebook.

T-TALKS: Silence is underrated

I am an advocate for using your voice and self-expression and I also believe that there is a time for silence. Getting comfortable with silence is a rare and exceptional skill, which expands your ability to hold space for others, your potential to hold others accountable and it is also a great personal healing tool.

Getting comfortable with silence allows you to ask questions, sit in the silence and give others time to respond. It allows pauses to during conversations. When we relieve the pause and discomfort by filling the silence with chatter, we lose an opportunity to allow others to speak up or for the silence to speak! Sometimes it also means that you stay silent rather than get involved in discussions that cause you harm or stress, in this sense it is a boundary, self care in action.

Getting comfortable with silence and solitude also allows your soul to speak and be heard. When we are on the treadmill of life, there is seldom any opportunity to listen to what our body is crying out for, what our heart feels and what our soul wants to express. Giving yourself time to sit in the silence is a personal healing space.

The art of communication is becoming comfortable with silence and knowing when to speak.

Love always

Tracy Busse

tracy@waveformconsulting.com

T-TALKS: Asking for what you want

Maybe you need to hear this today… A recent theme in my coaching is “asking for what you want”.

Its such a simple thing but we often get stuck, sometimes due to fear, sometimes shyness or because of a story we are telling ourselves – about what asking will mean about us or how others will perceive us. I feel exhausted just writing this. Sigh!!

 It actually is as simple as asking for what you want and it is incredibly powerful!  My theory is that “if you don’t ask the answer is always NO”!

But, If you ask, you may get a no, but at least you get to feel good about having had a go, having expressed your needs.

AND…You may also get a YES! And sometimes its a yes and a bit more than what you asked for! How good would that be? You ask and get a YES to what you want (possibly more) and everything changes because you feel empowered and good about your ability to ask for what you want! 

Have the courage to ask for what you want! Give yourself the possibility of a YES!

For more information about working further with me, got to https://waveform-consulting.square.site/ or please get in touch by email. I will also be offering voice recordings of the Lighthouse workshops – how to build resilience and thrive, as a self-paced workshops very soon.

Love always

Tracy

tracy@waveformconsulting.com

T-TALKS: Purposeful Power

What does the word power conjure up for you? Sadly power often has negative connotations. Without it we’d be lost because power is also love, its what drives us and allows us to take action, create, grow and transform. For all we can really control is what we do, say and think, we might as well use these superpowers wisely.

From this perspective what does your superpower allow you to do now? What has it allowed you to do in the past? Do you have any beliefs about power that are holding you back or limiting your power? If you were to step into your full blown power what would you do, what would that look and feel like?

Be bold and courageous, step into your power and capacity to create, grow and transform yourself, your career, your wellbeing, your life. Start with one small step, its where all worthwhile and humble journeys begin.

If you liked this blog you may like CALLING YOUR POWER BACK! And I have just launched and opened the doors to The Lighthouse: a series of three powerful, interactive, online resilience workshops: we dive into your resilient mindset, habits and your emotional resilience toolkit and there is also a private facebook group for me to communicate with you and you to share your wins, questions and get coaching. What will be possible for you when you build your strength, resiliency and courage?

The workshop series is AUD$300 and you receive a 1:1 coaching session (value $200) if you book in before 13th June. Doors close 18th June and we kick off on 21st June! YAY! All workshops via Zoom and recordings available for those who can’t attend.

MORE INFO OR TO BOOK IN THE LIGHTHOUSE or email me with any questions.

Love always

Tracy

tracy@waveformconsulting.com

Super Choices

Every choice you make will either anchor your intention to support your health or detract from it.

Every choice has the power to uplift and nurture you or not.

Every choice to eat something will either support and nourish you to good health or not.

Every choice to move your body will either support physical and mental health or be a lost opportunity to invigorate body and mind.

Some choices are simply for fun and after enjoying the diversion you return to your vitality path.

A choice that gives you what you most need now might be the best way to go at the time.

A choice that will extend you might be what you will need in the future.

Every choice is a choice between comfort and challenge. Identify which and make conscious choices today .

Choices that put love and wellbeing first and occasionally prioritise a bit of fun and whimsy are always good choices.

Your body mind and soul will thank you for them.

What wholesome, happy and healthy choices are you making today?

T-TALKS: Relationships after a cardiac event

After a health scare or major cardiac event, relationships can strengthen and this is wonderful but at times, like in any relationships, there are also struggles. The very friends and family who love and support you can also be the source of discomfort. A patient in rehab or recovery often struggles to come to terms with what happened and a whole range of related issues. Their friends and family, on the other hand are hoping for them to get back to “normal” and frustrated when that does not happen. As a result, both can be sensitive and easily offended, especially when they have just been through a stressful situation, things can become uncomfortable.

Here are a few of my thoughts and a few questions that may assist in turning your struggles with others around, particularly when you are in rehab or recovery.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROBLEM

• When things go awry start by really acknowledged what the problem (it can be useful to write one sentence to describe it). What is your role? What is someone else’s role. How is it making you feel? What impact it is having on you and your health?

KEEP PERSPECTIVE:

• Ask yourself – how much love and support  have you received from this person and others and then compare this to what is annoying, frustrating or upsetting you. Keep the size of the problem in perspective.

CHOOSE WHERE TO FOCUS:

• Our minds sometimes blow the situation up and the one negative person or comment occupies all our time or headspace. Remember while you are focusing on the bad it can mean you miss out on other things or other people that are good, helpful or supportive. To reverse this start journaling all the things about people that make you happy and aid your recovery. Start focusing on the good rather than the bad. Because after all where you focus is what you get. Shine your torch in positive places because it will help your relationships and is good for you.

DRAW A LINE IN THE SAND:  

• Sometimes you just have to say that interaction was really bad or poor, let’s start again. No blame, just a desire to move forward and do better next time. Don’t be too hard on yourself!

• When you are having ongoing problems, stop and reflect on the person. What they mean to you? Is the relationship worth saving? Are you willing to let go of the relationship, maybe just for now? If it is worthy then have a conversation with them about what is not working for you, the impact of their behaviour? Find a way to let go (even just a little bit) or start a new way of relating.

MODIFY YOUR EXPECTATIONS:

• What expectations do you both have? Are they realistic and really what you want or simply what you think is the norm or expected? It’s ok for things to be a bit messy right now!

• The expectation that a patient will ‘return to normal’ is often the benchmark for success after a health event. However, this can be a set up for failure and can also inhibit personal growth. Life is not static. A ‘return to normal’ is amazing but can also be a missed opportunity to reassess your health, career or other aspects of life. A more realistic and healthier benchmark might be to ‘modify your lifestyle to support health and wellbeing’ and when you can’t return to something (e.g. sport, work) then eventually find ways to satisfy the need that was being filled by the activity. Where can you lower or change your expectations? This can release some of the pressure you might place on yourself and others.

• Don’t always expect a carer or close family member to give you everything you need. Remember they need breaks and other relationships bring different gifts to you. Find a balance of relationships who inspire and uplift you. This could be an open discussion with ‘your rock’, be sure to express your gratitude to them!

I wish you well in your relationships, may you find ways to ensure that they support, nurture and sustain both of you! Please reach out or seek further resources if you need further support. My book ‘Calm Through Chaos: How to build resilience and thrive in life’ may also assist.

Love always
Tracy
e-mail: tracy@waveformconsulting.com

T-TALKS: Calm

Find a moment of stillness in your day
Let go of all tension in your body
Still your mind
Relax into it
Breathe in relaxation
Breath out and release
Release it all
The fears, the tightness, any discomfort
Let it go
Feel the tranquility and peace enter
Find the calm within
Surrender to it
Appreciate it
Soak it all up
and when you are ready take it back to your day
With a new sense of rejuvenation, vitality and energy.

Calm Through Chaos: How to build resilience and thrive in life (available in all good bookstores, Amazon/Kindle, Kobo, Google Play books)

T-TALKS: Ten Tips for Wellbeing!

As a Career and Transitions Coach I get asked many questions about careers, workplaces, relationships at work, wellbeing in the workplace, resumes, interviews and the general job search process. I will be doing a series of blogs about the most common questions I am privileged to answer.

Client: I am between jobs. How do I look after myself whilst job seeking?

My response and tips:

1. Stay hydrated – drink lots of water.
2. Keep up good nutrition and enjoy occasional treats.
3. Keep up whatever exercise you prefer (this is also great for mental health).
4. Relaxation – set aside time to relax, unwind, meditate, read or watch a movie or visit a special place where you find peace and calm.
5. If you are feeling stuck, experiencing strong emotions, seek professional help and support from a psychologist or career counsellor.
6. Make sure you are getting a good night’s sleep and if this is an ongoing problem then speak to your doctor, in fact, this is probably a good time to have a general health check and get on top of any health issues and have preventative health checks such as blood pressure, pulse check, cholesterol, blood test, blood sugar levels, dental check, eye check, skin check, bowel check after 50, heart check, men’s and women’s checks such as prostate, pap smear and breast check.
7. Structure your day, very important if you are currently without work to set aside time for job searching and time for yourself (exercise, relaxation, medical appointments).
8. Use a gratitude journal to record all the things you are grateful for, big and small.
9. Adopt the attitude that there is no-failure, only feedback and make sure you learn from every experience.
10. Set goals and reward yourself for achieving them.

My blog on emotional resilience might help too.

Happy job seeking, keep riding the wave of life and remember what you seek is also out there somewhere seeking you!

Love always
Tracy
e-mail: tracy@waveformconsulting.com

 

 

T-TALKS: Ten Tips for Emotional Resilience at Work

• Firstly, adopt the presupposition that there is no failure, only feedback. If you adopt the attitude that everything is learning, then everything you do can be a success and progress. Failure to get the job, salary raise or interview is simply a learning exercise, use the feedback to fuel your motivation to keep going.
• We all experience fear of the unknown. The magic is not in eliminating fear but rather acting despite the fear. If you take an adventure as the metaphor for the journey, it can help enhance excitement, strength, preparation, all-in fun and creativity along the way.
• Approach each day is a new beginning, a new opportunity with new possibilities and options. Each day is an adventure. Go forth and enjoy, for it is all you ever have.
• Find routines that work for you – there is magic in consistency! Schedule regular focused times for activities that you dread or that seem to interrupt and consume your day (such as admin, emails or responding to social media / LinkedIn messages or phone messages) at times when your energy is high and then and reward yourself with things you love doing. Don’t forget to schedule in self-care and reflection times as priorities too. What you do regularly, becomes a habit and your habits dictate your wellbeing and resilience.
• Self-care: treat yourself as you would your best friend, what advice would you give your best friend or client if they were in your shoes? Do or say that!
• Get in touch with what you are feeling and what triggers these feelings? High workload will trigger stress and anxiety and commonly results in frustration and overwhelm. Is this an opportunity to learn how to unwind, to take time out, to gain a new perspective, to find a solution in stillness or to develop mindfulness / meditation skills? Emotion can be uncomfortable but it will pass and can also be a time to focus and gain some much-needed clarity.
• Use your mind to prepare for an important phone call, meeting or interview. Take time to mentally and physically prepare yourself. Your body will follow your mind and remember this translate to body language and voice tonality. So when the time comes….take a few deep breaths, relax your facial muscles and your shoulders, then take yourself to a time where you felt tremendously confident, capable, passionate, strong, successful and alert but relaxed and optimistic. Close your eyes and imagine the setting…see yourself, what were you feeling? What were you hearing? Really deepen the visualisation, make it bigger, bolder, more colourful, enhance the feelings and sounds! Get it to its peak and then you can open your eyes. Remember your visualization, you can return to it anytime or you can use it to strengthen your mindset anytime and your body language will follow. Go forth and put your best foot forward!
• Use Affirmations or Mantras. Positive language and self-talk is so important and can be used at the start of a day or during the day to revitalise yourself. Below are some examples and you can make up your own ones too:
  • I take each step with great mindfulness.
  • As I take small steps, I know that the whole picture will eventually unfold and reveal itself to me. I slow down and savour the journey.
  • I am a courageous explorer and my listening, observation and communication skills will help me be a pioneer on this new adventure.
  • As one door closes another opens for me.
  • There is a whole world waiting for me.
  • I am open and receptive to what comes next and allow it to unfold in its own time and space.
• Stepping away from perfectionism doesn’t mean that we give up our high standards but it does mean that we can finish something without driving ourselves demented. It simply means that we let go of the need to keep going until it is “perfect”. Remember the 80/20 rule. The remaining 20% can take forever to achieve whereas it is more important to focus on the 80% and be sure to put your heart and soul into it. Then when it is 80% finished to a high standard, let go of the need to keep going, move on, let it be finished. Anything worth doing is worth doing well but not worth getting stuck on and neglecting what comes next or the implementation phase. I am of course not referring to engineering, medical, accounting or other types of tasks were accuracy is essential but rather tasks that are more open ended and don’t have an exact result, these are tasks that could be refined forever without really adding any value, such as researching, planning, report or book writing, practicing the delivery of a speech or social media.
• Challenge yourself to try something different and new. Explore options during some still time perhaps in nature or when listening to music. If you are struggling to find still time, try some activities such as walking or even a relaxation massage.

Love always
Tracy
e-mail: tracy@waveformconsulting.com