Boundaries are so important in relationships, to protect ourselves, to care for ourselves and to meet our own needs. I recently put some new boundaries in place and got some push back’. Others might not be used to your boundaries and may not like change when you introduce new boundaries.
When I got the ‘push back’’, it caused me to question myself. I questioned whether I was indeed a living in alignment with my values. I really started questioning everything I stood for. I wondered if I had just become cold to the world and was lacking in empathy. I help others uncover their beliefs and I know that our thoughts are always in our control but here I was struggling to get my head around changing these unhelpful thoughts I had about myself.
Fortunately, the answer to my dilemma literally dropped in and with it I had an aha moment in all of one second. I realised that I hadn’t done anything wrong, I was simply acting in a new way with new personal boundaries. The new boundaries were causing me to feel differently. My discomfort with the new feeling was causing me to question myself. The aha moment was when I realised I had achieved a level on self-care not previously even on my radar. Instead of being in the situation or drama and going through it with the person, I lovingly left it where it belonged, with its rightful owner. Whilst I can provide love and support, it is not mine to fix or solve. Not my drama. Not my stuff. Wow how liberating it was to realise this and suddenly a question about whether I was good enough became wow I need to celebrate this newfound ability to protect and nurture myself. I am really proud of myself.
Remember the intention is not to have perfect boundaries in all relationships, the intention is to use boundaries when you need them and sometimes you will need to put new ones in place. The intention is always to support and nurture yourself and sometimes this requires a line in the sand.
Love always
Tracy
tracy@waveformconsulting.com
Waveform Consulting 